The “messy” in the title is to be understood in a few different ways. You will find here teens who make mistakes, teens who do (& don’t regret) things society thinks they shouldn’t, teens who make questionable choices… Which is to say: teens who are only human.
So for everyone who is tired of books trying to portray teenagers as perfect (since no one in the world is), enjoy! And don’t judge.
Perfect on Paper
Sophie Gonzales
Goodreads
Rep: bi girl mc, trans side character, Vietnamese American lesbian side character, bi side character, gay side character, pan nonbinary side character
TW: biphobia, internalised biphobia, toxic parents, drugs, alcohol, vomiting
Why Should I Read It?
I literally had to ask Charlotte to choose between this and Sophie’s other book, Only Mostly Devastated, because they both fit this theme perfectly & I love them too much to do it myself. Darcy keeps secrets, omits the truth, puts herself first, judges people. And yet. She’s not the villain of this story, she’s just a kid who yearns for people and is trying to grow up.
The Wicker King
K. Ancrum
Goodreads
Rep: bi mc with anorexia, anxiety and depression, bi mc with peduncular hallucinosis, polyam relationship
TW: codependency, arson, violence, hallucinations, panic attacks, depression, parental neglect, abuse
Why Should I Read It?
What’s more messy than codependency! But even with those two boys not seeing the world apart from each other, you can tell this bond between them didn’t happen out of the blue. You can map out all the reasons, which doesn’t make it better or worse, simply explains some aspect of it. It’s a story of kids afraid to ask for help because they never got it before from adults, of being hungry for love.
Fifteen Hundred Miles from the Sun
Jonny Garza Villa
Goodreads
Rep: Mexican American gay mc, Vietnamese American gay li, gay, lesbian, bi & pan side characters
TW: past & present parental abuse, physical abuse (chapter 14 & 28), homophobia, outing, mc gets kicked out
Why Should I Read It?
The book only happens because Julián gets drunk and goes on twitter, and that’s the definition of messy, if I do say so myself. In all seriousness, though, Garza Villa does something great with their novel, which is to allow the characters to make mistakes (even big ones), but also to treat them tenderly throughout the whole process of healing from said mistakes.
Camp
L.C. Rosen
Goodreads
Rep: gay Jewish mc, half-Korean gay Jewish li, Middle Eastern gay Jewish side character, demi lesbian side character, Afro-Brazilian American sapphic side character, Black trans side character, nonbinary side character, gay side characters
Why Should I Read It?
Maybe the messiest book on the whole list, since it hinges on the idea of pretending to be someone you’re not to get a boy. It’s also different from most of other titles here, in that everyone around the main character calls him out on his idea & a big portion of the novel focuses on the discussion why exactly what he’s trying to do is messy. But that’s what a coming of age book should be, really, a story about overcoming your childish ideas of adulthood.
Iron Widow
Xiran Jay Zhao
Goodreads
Rep: Chinese-coded cast & setting, bi mcs
TW: gore, murder, torture, mentions of rape, threats of rape, misogyny, femicide, suicide ideation, abuse, alcohol addiction
Why Should I Read It?
I think we can all agree that I absolutely had to include Iron Widow. Maybe it is more accurate to describe this book as unhinged rather than simply messy, but hey! Variety, am I right? And really, at the end of the day, what could possibly be more messy than creating chaos everywhere you go, like Wu Zetian does. (And if that chaos is in the name of overthrowing the patriarchy? Even better!)
Like Water
Rebecca Podos
Goodreads
Rep: bi Latina mc, genderqueer lesbian li
Why Should I Read It?
Sometimes being messy means being unsure of the future and whether you should bother to try & change it at all; being afraid of how much you want things you think you shouldn’t. Sometimes it means slowly discovering your own self after you already thought you had it all figured out. Sometimes it means being a flawed person who loves someone fiercely.
The Witch King
H.E. Edgmon
Goodreads
Rep: trans gay mc, Black achillean li, Native American bi ace side character, nonbinary lesbian side character, sapphic side characters, side polyam relationship
TW: transphobia, abuse (verbal and physical), blood, gore (chapter 14 & 15), panic attacks, fire, burning, mention of past sexual assault
Why Should I Read It?
Okay, no spoilers, but all books involving parental abuse should have a culmination of that plot point similar as The Witch King. And that isn’t even the messiest part of the book. Frankly, every single teen here does things that are highly questionable, either for some greater good or for their own sake. Sometimes they regret it & apologise, sometimes they do the opposite. It’s a roller-coaster of not very nice teen behaviours. Good for them!
Blaine for the Win
Robbie Couch
Goodreads
Rep: gay mc, Vietnamese American bi li, Black sapphic character, Latina sapphic character, gay side characters
Why Should I Read It?
If you look at the one sentence description (“gay teen pretends to be someone he’s not, for the sake of a potential love interest”), then this book sure sounds similar to Camp. But they actually couldn’t be more different. Both in how that plays out for the main character in the end, and the ways in which they grow thanks to that specific experience. Blaine for the Win also introduces characters who do things which are objectively morally bad, just because they want to succeed and because, really, sometimes people are selfish.
Love and Other Natural Disasters
Misa Sugiura
Goodreads
Rep: Japanese American lesbian mc, Japanese American lesbian li, Taiwanese American lesbian li, Black bi side character, Japanese American gay side character, Filipino American gay side character
TW: homophobia, mention of parent’s death
Why Should I Read It?
Pretending to date a girl so another girl would get jealous? Pretending to date a girl when in reality you’re into her and are trying to manipulate her into falling for you too? Truly, a recipe for a disaster. Or an opportunity to learn from your mistakes and grow as a person. And see the love you’ve been missing because you were too focused on fantasies.
Felix Ever After
Kacen Callender
Goodreads
Rep: Black trans demiboy achillean mc, Black Bengali achillean li, lesbian side character, mixed-race Black, Puerto Rican & white gay side character, poc sapphic side character, sapphic side character, gay side character, nonbinary side character
TW: transphobia (exposing old pictures and deadname, transphobic messages), mentions of past emotional abuse, absent parent
Why Should I Read It?
It’s one of those beautiful books where for every bad thing that happens, something good happens as well. The sense of safety this novel offers, despite all the small cataclysms, is unmatched. Here we have teens bullying each other, teens making choices they back out of at the very last moment, teens hurting each other’s feeling unwittingly but in real ways. And here we also have love overflowing from every page.
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